Sometimes life is rough, really rough. But those times are rewarded with simply perfect days. Today was one of those days, so good that I could cry from the joy that was very much needed. 

We didn't start the day like normal, cleaning the house before it gets too hot. We headed to the library where the girls love to color and pick out books and movies. 

Our second stop was to the park. The library hosts a storytime and lunch through out the summer but this was our first time attending (and sadly the last time they were hosting one for the season). The theme of the day was "it's alive." They had goats and bunnies to see and pet, a Frankenstein mask to make, a story time tarp to listen to a book, and a snot making area (it was like play dough or gak). They also had parents fill out a survey to score a free book! 

After the park we grabbed Cody and some lunch. I love when companies have coupons, it makes it so much easier to convince Cody to go out to eat when a 10 piece chicken nugget and large fry are only $3! He said he needed to do a quick work thing in Twin and then afterwards he could take off and head to Coscto so we tagged along. 

I thought his work thing would be just a few minutes in the office or grabbing parts but there was a reason he didn't give me much of an explanation before. He had to disc the field (imagine a giant tillwr) where they are building a new store just down the road from the twin location.  

Cody and I spent a lot of time when we were first married sitting in a tractor and again when we moved back to Burley when Cody finished school. It was nice to be able to spend time with him and to have the girls with us in surprisingly very good moods. But it was a lot different also because there wasn't the pressure of having someone constantly checking on you or having a radio constantly blaring in the middle of your conversation. I've missed our tractor talks but I don't miss the long hours and everything else that came with Cody working on a family farm. Both the girls took naps while in there and the other half were content to just play and be with their dad. 

(We drove Cody's pickup across the lot and let her test out Ellie's car seat, I think she wants one that roomy now!)

We are having family pictures in a few weeks and needed to find Cody a shirt that meshes well with the girls adorable outfits that I'm dying for them to wear! We didn't find anything... Until we got home and I dug through his closet.

I love when companies send you free coupons for your birthday. Unless you read it wrong or can't find it when you are right out front of said business. Ellie didn't mind Jamba Juice for dinner and I'm pretty sure Cody has threatened them with mean words not to build one in Burley because it would make us broke. 

Tonight ended with handstand contests, tickling, and chasing each other like week barrels. And a lot, a lot of laughter. It was one of those evenings when everyone is in a great, happy mood and bed times have waltzed right out the door. Two hours after bedtime and they are finally asleep in the same room (we will see how long this lasts, I'm giving it until midnight before they are both awake) but I'm still smiling and Cody's asleep in my lap. 

Today was a great day. But more than staying busy and a lot more playing in one day than we do in an entire week, my attitude has been a lot better. I've been pretty bitter the past week about not being able to run and have my outlet that I've been in an awful Debbie downer mood. Today was the perfect way to step back and see that my kids aren't really as bad as I think sometimes, I'm the one who is not being a good mother. Instead of focusing on the positive that they bring I've been having a pity party for what I can't do. Today was a great reminder that they will always be them and always be there for me, they truly are the best. I need to make the best of te situation and not wait for the ideal situation. And we can have the best adventures and time together if we are all truly present. 

Now I'm rambling and am not making any sense. Maybe the later bed time for everyone is really getting to me. 

Another running post! YAY!

The weekend and the run… Last Thursday we headed to Utah so I could run my second half marathon with my sister, the American Fork Half Marathon. We made a few stops on the drive down. I told Cody we could look at Cabela’s if I could get a second pair of running capri’s so I don’t have to do as much laundry. I love that there are outlets in Lehi because its on our way to Orem! Ellie loved the fish but Kate... not at all.

Thursday night we hung out at my grandparents house with my aunt and her kids who were visiting from Arizona and we watched my sister’s little guys for a bit. Crew is a few months older than Ellie is and McKay is a few months older than Kate, its going to be fun growing up with cousins close in age.

Friday morning I went to pick up our packets and was extremely impressed with the organization. While I was in the shower Ellie wandered upstairs to find me but instead of heading to the bathroom directly next to the stairs she went into my grandparents room and into their bathroom. Good thing they were both already up and Ellie gave grandma some company while she did her morning routine. She was so excited to see great grandma because they had been at the temple the night before.

We headed to the Lindon pool that afternoon, something we will be doing anytime we visit family from now on! It had a big slide, fun kiddy area, lazy river, a regular size pool with laps mapped out, another little pool, hot tubs. The works! And it wasn't very spendy, score! 

The half marathon we were running was amazing, they donate all the proceeds to pay for people battling cancer. This year they raised over $250,000!!! It's definitely a race I would do again because I love knowing that the money is going to good use.

We loaded the bus by 4:30 am and had a start time of 6 am. They had a fun MC at the race start and he kept us entertained. It was a pretty emotional pre race atmosphere. A lot of people running the race were running for people who were either battling cancer or who had lost the fight. So many shirts had names or pictures of people that they were running for. Right before the start he had everyone raise their hand if they had any immediate family who was affected by cancer and almost everyone raised their hands. He also asked if there was any cancer survivors and it was incredible how many people raised their hands! That just got you pumped to be running for such a great cause! They also had signs along the course to remind you of what this run was for, some were funny like WTF is the finish?! but others were more serious like "I'm running for you mom, your my hero." There is nothing worse than feeling like you are about to cry while trying to run and breath all at the same time.

The first about 8 miles were running down and out of the canyon, it was a stunning race! We started out feeling pretty dang good but not too fast, we didn't want to burn out like last time. We had planned to aim for a time under 2 hours and 10 minutes. There are pacers through out the run that hold signs so you can gauge where you will finish. We blazed past the 2:30 pacer and came up quickly on the 2:20 on as well. 

Right after we passed the 2:05 pacer, I was hoping to get the sign in the picture but it didn't quite make it.

We were feeling good, laughing and still in good spirits. We could see the 2:10 pacer ahead and in no time we had passed them as well. At mile 5 there was a water station and the pacer was getting a drink when we paced them! I was pretty dang excited! I knew if we just held this pace that we would stay in front of the pacer and make it under 2 hours and 5 minutes. 

We were cruising right along and still feeling good. I hadn't even listened to any music yet, I decided to wait until I was starting to feel worn out. Not too long after the water station we could see the 2 hour pacer!

At the time I could see the 2 hour pacer when I was taking the picture. We got out of the canyon and I was hoping to pass her at the water station that was at mile 7.3 but we went from the two lane road to a bike path and there was a lot of people. We were still passing people and eventually was able to get around the pacer. If we just stayed in front of her we would make it. But around mile 8 Jen started getting tired and told me to just go ahead because she needed to walk.

I stayed with her and tried encouraging her but the pacer just kept creeping up on us. The pacer was a fun lady and kept shouting things like "If you want under 2 hours stay in front of me" and encouragement, telling everyone they are doing awesome. 

I felt really bad for leaving Jen by herself but I really wanted that sub 2! I was so close! The last two miles were tough, there was a good little hill at mile 11 that messed with me. I was surprised to see so many people walking with less than a mile left. I was one of those people that passed a lot of people on the last stretch, I saw the clock say 2:02 but I knew I had a chip on and was a little worried. 

I ended up with the official time of 1 hour 58 minutes!!!! I was elated! And I was feeling great! The last one I didn't fuel right and I crashed, I literally was hunched over with incredible stomach pain and fatigue but this time I felt much better. And then we ate amazing Kneaders french toast after we finished! 

Overall it was a great race and I am still so excited about my time. So excited in fact that I am going to do a full marathon this fall!!! I still can't believe that I am now training for a full marathon, I never though I ever would! 

Last Sunday we decided to take a drive and go exploring. After naps of course. Doesn't Cody look thrilled that his was cut short?! 

Cody was scouting out places to ride his 4 wheeler and I was looking for places to hike or have a picnic. 

And Elle just thought it was fun to be out of the car seat and take a million pictures on my phone. 

We found a new spot to adventure to in Big Cottonwood canyon, Idaho not utah. We took the wrong path that led between the hills not up them so next time we know where to go. But it was still perfect and Kate "sang" in my ear the entire way. 

Ok so It wasn't 100% perfect because I almost died. Not really but it felt like it. As we were walking along, minding my own business of course, this snake has the nerve to run right in front of my feet! If it weren't for my serious reflexes and being able to jump so high and sideways I would have stepped right on the dang thing. I gave it a nice yelp, not a scream, and I think it messed with my heart a bit because it was beating pretty dang hard. Moral of the story is I have awesome reflexes and if you ever want to test yours out go hiking in southern idaho. And Cody thinks in even more of a whimp. 

I'm awesome with the backpack selfies. It's a work in progress... 

Cody's grandma passed away a few weeks ago. We were fortunate to have been able to see her a few times over the past few months. On Memorial Day we went with Cody's mom to put flowers on the graves of family members. We told Ellie that we were going to see great grandma and that she was going to come with us. She got upset when we left Gwen's house without great grandma until we explained that we had to go pick her up.

As we were unbuckling the kids I told Cody to bring his phone in so that we could take pictures with her and the girls but we completely forgot. She had just moved into the room on Saturday but it looked very cozy. We talked about how exciting it was that her room's window over looked the school's playground. 

Ellie made herself right at home. She was so curious about the hand painted ceramic cat and would not leave a glass apple alone. We had visited her two weeks before while she was in The rehab facility and Ellie kept using her walker as a podium to say prayers at. She celebrated her 90th birthday on Easter but had fallen ill a few days before and was in the hospital. We were able to go see her on her birthday. We had a nice little chat but she mentioned how sad she was that she didn't get to see her grandkids and great grand kids very often. 

She ended up passing away on Memorial Day evening, not long after we got to visit with her. As we were leaving Ellie have her the biggest hug and just snuggled right up to her. At her funeral they sang "have I done any good in the world today?" 

I didn't get to know her as well as I would have liked but what I do know is that she loved her family very much and loved to serve them. That is the kind of woman I want to be and am so lucky to have such amazing women in my life who are such great examples of what a true daughter of God and disciple of Christ are. 

 

I'm going to talk (type?) about something very personal but I felt like I needed to share it so when I'm having a hard time I can remember the victories. 

Lets talk about post baby weight. EEEK! Yea its scary!

I have always had a magical number in my head that when I hit that goal weight the heavens will open up and sing me a nice hallelujah jig. Maybe throw in a few leprechauns dancing around me and a nice rainbow across the sky. 

Well today I hit that goal but there was no rays of sunshine pouring down on me. My only thoughts were cool. Ok. 

Not at all what I was expecting. I wasn't expecting it because a number doesn't mean anything. I always thought (my 50 pound heavier self) that when I would hit that number I would be happy with my body, finally, and that I would be looking super hot. 

What I realized today is that the number doesn't matter. Being at the magical goal weight number didn't make me instantly feel better about myself because I've been feeling comfortable in my own skin for a little while now. With weight loss and getting in shape, it isn't one magical moment but a combination of small victories along the way that have made me happy with my physical appearance.

One small victory a few months ago was finding a t-shirt that fit good and I was comfortable in it. When I was in middle school I developed in the chest region and was embarrassed. I wore baggy shirts, sweatshirts, and jackets every day to school, even in warm weather I was trying to cover up. I have never felt comfortable wearing a semi fitted t-shirt. Ever. 

Until recently. We went to target to find me a few light weight shirts with the weather warming up. I tried on a few shirts and with every single one of them I felt comfortable. It was amazing. I immediately sent Cody a picture exclaiming that I had found a few. He has always given me a hard time about me not wearing just a plain shirt because I always have a sweater or something over it. 

Small victories. They are awesome.

Doing things to make me feel good and make my body feel good are small victories. Getting in a hard run or only eating a small helping of ice cream instead of taking the entire carton to the couch make me feel good. And when I feel good physically I've noticed that I am more confident and nothing can beat that feeling. Nothing can beat feeling comfortable in the skin you've been trying to cover up for years.

So I guess what I am trying to say is this: the numbers don't matter (although they are nice to see), doing small things to make you feel good about you is amazing. I've been afraid for so long about how I look to others and how big I think I am that I let it hold me back. I've let it hold me back from being me because I'm afraid of being the girl with only a pretty face. Awkward, I know. 

Don't say tomorrow you'll change. Do it now. Make decisions that will help you feel better today and go to bed happy instead of saying you'll just start tomorrow. Take pictures of who you are today even if you are embarrassed, don't miss those opportunities because you aren't your ideal you. I was afraid to get a back pack to carry my kids in because I was embarrassed that I would bulge over in the midsection.

A little bit every day makes a big difference. There is not one magical big explosion of confetti or a ball dropping. Little changes make the difference. It will take time but it is so worth it to be a happy you. I'm not saying you have to loose a lot of weight to be happy but just do things that make you feel good physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.

We've caught a nasty bug in our house, mostly the girls but I've caught the cold part of it. Poor Cody has cleaned up throw up three times this past week. He also threw out his back this weekend and has been extremely sore all week. And because its been a fun week we have dealt with a lot of dumb people. Our washer isn't draining right and we've had three different people from the same company come on three different days and try the exact same thing because they didn't talk to each other and kept sending people out. One guy suggested we open the sewage valve in our basement. That's about the time Cody asked him to leave and told him we'd be finding a different solution than their company. And on Wednesday I lost my wallet. I don't know if someone has it or if my mischevious two year old hid it somewhere.  

So to help us get through today we have taken full advantage of our library and rented a few new movies and are going to hope this bug goes by fast. And that this weekend does as well so we can start fresh with a new week. 

And here's a photo dump of a few happy things in the last few weeks to put us in a better mood. 

Cody working from home on Monday after getting his back adjusted. Ellie didn't mind him home at all! 

These girls LOVE Cheetos. And Kate loves dumping everything out of containers, not a good combination for our carpet. 

Ellie has started letting me curl her hair but she had to do my hair in return. Bargaining with a two year old is dangerous. 

Kate knows ice cream. She is definitely my child and screams when it's gone. 

Helping set the table. I love this age! 

Another running post... surprise, surprise! I ran my first 10K (6.2 mile) race in February as a way to help keep me motivated and running for my half marathon. I have since decided that I really love racing that distance. The day before the run it snowed at least a foot and a half and the forecast showed winds of at least 15 mph. I didn't want to do it and called my sister to ask if I should. She gave me the best advice and told me exactly what I wanted to hear. I told her all my reasons of why I didn't want to- I could fall on the ice, it was cold and windy, what if I came in last. She told me "If you don't have a good enough excuse NOT to, why not?!" So I did it. 

I ran it and didn't finish last. I finished in 1 hour, 3 minutes, and 27 seconds. Yes, the seconds count. After I signed up for my second half marathon I immediately knew that I wanted to do another 10K during training to help get me used to running faster for a long period of time.

I did my second 10K a week and a half ago. And it went better than I could have imagined. Of course I wanted to be faster than my previous one and my only goal was to do it faster. After I hit the mile mark I realized I was going a lot faster than I had anticipated and that running 6.2 miles under an hour was possible! I felt good and was happy running, even if there was a little bit of wind. The forecast said it was supposed to rain and be nasty cold with clouds but it wasn't.

Running is very much an individual sport. But at times it gets competitive. I had a few girls ahead of me from the start and I told myself I just have to keep them in view and I can hit my goal. There was a guy that passed me pretty quickly but wasn't ahead of me for very long because I passed him and told myself that I was not allowed under any circumstances to let him pass. And I didn't. The girls that were in front of me looked like serious runners and had fancy watches to tell them their pace and time (I may just be envious that I'm still using my phone) but I passed them with a mile left to go and was smiling from ear to ear! 

Training pays off and its so nice to actually see it in races! Towards the end of my longer runs on Saturdays I have been trying to run a good sized hill to get my legs used to keeping pace when they are tired. It definitely helped, half a mile from the finish was a smaller hill and I was able to pass another lady, serious runner looking to. Small victories are amazing while running.

But the best victory was at the end when I saw Cody and the girls sitting safely (and warm) in the car right before the finish line smiling and waving at me. I crossed the finish line and couldn't believe I had finished not only under one hour but at 55:47!!!! Lets just say that will be a tough record to beat! 

I usually run comfortably at around 10 minute 15 second paced miles. My average pace for this race was under 9 minute miles... for six miles straight! It was crazy.

Anyways.... I ran a race, a dam race and finished it to set a new personal record. WahoO!