Stories of motherhood from my phone

Drinking moms water is always so much more appealing. 

They like to exercise to. Daily.

Cheetos and chocolate milk make for an awful combination for afternoon snacks. But sometimes mixing two fun things is necessary. 

Elementary school carnivals are fun even for 2 1/2 year olds. Bounce house, pony ride, games, balloons and popcorn! We had a pretty happy girl, it also helped that she got to do all that with her cousins! 

Mobile baby means mess making baby. 

Chubby baby legs melt this mamas heart! 

Always checking on the chicks! The only reason we agree to even go near this store with Cody. 

Sharing Cheetos with her sister, so nice. (For once!) 

Always drawing! (Or pretending) We all had our hands and feet traced last night. Never again will I let a pen go between my toes, they are way too ticklish we found out. 

Sunny days mean park days. We need more of them, we've been spending a little bit of time indoors and I think it's starting to show. 

And a funny story to end with. These pink shorts Ellie is wearing at the park are a size too large. Rolling them up held them for the first little while. While at story time they kept falling down, at one point all the way to her ankles. The librarian was standing near by and laughed and told her that she lost her britches. Ellie responded by giving her a nice stink eye. But this girl is stubborn in what she wants to wear and had to wear them. They have since been hidden until she has gained a few pounds in the belly region. 

It's Mother's Day today. I don't want to seem ungrateful if I don't post about how amazing my mother, grandmothers, sisters, and all the other mothers that have influenced my life because I am very grateful for their example and all that they have taught me about motherhood. 

But my heart is heavy today as well because I have been thinking a lot about all the women who so desperately long to be mothers but are not able to be blessed with that opportunity yet. Or the women in my life who no longer have their children with them on this earth but in heaven. So far for me getting pregnant and carrying my own child has not been a challenge. If I want a baby, I don't have to struggle and try for very long to be bless with one. I know a few women who have suffered many miscarriages or have spent many months or years trying and not able to hold a baby in their arms. I think of them today and I know that sometimes they might hate me because it seems to come easy for me. I'm grateful for that but I am also blessed to have such women in my life. They are so strong and remind me everyday to be grateful for these two. 

My two girls will one day be mothers to their own children, at least I hope I do a good enough job that they'd want to be a mother and not just think motherhood turned me crazy. Somedays it just might seem like that but I was crazy and weird to begin with... But I want them to know that I tried as a mother. I tried tomake things   easier for them and teach them what they need to know. I tried and took the time to spend with them individually to let them know that I love them and always will. I want them to think back on their childhood and know that there mother was there no matter what. That I loved them unconditionally. That they could trust me and count on me and love me right back. 

So to all you mothers, daughters, grandmothers, soon to be or hopeful mothers, beautiful women... Know that today I am thinking of you. Know that you have influenced the lives of not only me but of my girls and are helping guide them through your example of what an exemplary woman should be. Today isn't just about women who have children but about all women who impact the lives of the impressionable young children for the better. 

I like to hike. Cody on the other hand... Lets just say he is going to be getting very used to it by the time next winter rolls around. We've decided we want to be more adventurous and outdoorsy people. The fact that we live in the country and next to mountains should help us in this new endevour of ours. 

We've been talking about getting hiking packs for the girls to be carried in for a while and decided to finally get some. We were a little nervous because the last time (and first time) Ellie was ever in one was over Labor Day and she screamed in Cody's ear for a good 20 minutes straight.

We must have been a funny sight to see at sportsmans when we went to go look at them. At one point we had both girls in different packs on the floor and on our backs with the packs all across the walk way. Ellie kept screaming that she didnt want to be on moms back, she wanted dad to carry her. And then she would change her mind again. We love the two year old indecisive stage. Or not.

We got the packs, ate a quick dinner, picked up my mother in law and headed up to the bottom of the mountain. We didn't exactly factor in the wind as an issue because it wasn't blowing at our house but it definitely was when we got u there. We took a short four wheeler ride through the farm land to get to the base of the trail. 

The trail was surrounded on both sides by sage brush and the most beautiful yellow ad purple wild flowers. The girls loved it, so did tony. Kate had her eyes on him the entire time and would wave whenever he turned in her direction. She sang while Ellie kept telling puppy to keep up. 

We got to a meadow where we decided would be our turning around point. Ellie loved running free and sitting in the tall grass. There was hardly any wind and it was the perfect temperature. Next time we go we will plan for more time to explore and enjoy the stream next to the meadow. We didn't want to cut it too close to sun down. 

I'm so excited for this summer. In this area of farmers it seems rare that men have a day off. I love that Cody is able to spend Saturdays with us and have time to do fun things, like hiking, as a family! 

We started off our Easter weekend on Saturday with a ward Easter breakfast and egg hunt. Each child was able to collect 6 eggs but when all the eggs were found Ellie was disappointed with the color of eggs she had. She threw a fit until I showed her that there was chocolate inside and then we didn't hear another complaint! 

Saturday afternoon was supposed to be Cody's grandmother's 90th birthday party. She took a fall a few days before and wasn't able to attend because she was in the hospital being monitored. So instead of a birthday party we still had a party with Cody's extended family on his mother's side, lunch and an egg hunt included.

After the extended family all left, it was just Cody's siblings and their kids. We love Cody's family, especially Ellie, she loves having so many cousins to play with!  My father in law recently built a shop/garage and the kids loved it. It echoed and there was a lot of screaming involved. I think from now on the bikes will be taken outside and the door locked though. Ellie didn't know what to do with herself when we got home that night, our house was too quiet.

Easter was great this year. We had a quiet morning and it was perfect. Ellie was so excited to have a new flower skirt to wear and we waited until after church to do the Easter baskets and hidden eggs. At church I teach the 12-13 year old girls but not on that Sunday, it was a special Sunday. We had another lady come and teach all the young women and we had a condensed traditional passover. Cody and I got to read the scripts and explain what everything was and what it represented. It was a perfect beginning to the holiday because we were reminded of what we were truelove celebrating. 

We waited until after church to give the girls their baskets and hide the eggs. I'm so glad we kept things simple and didn't go over board because the girls really only cared about the actual baskets. Ellie liked her pony so much that she took Kate's pony as well. Kate sat and shook her basket for a good fifteen minutes while Ellie found all the eggs. 

The best part of the entire day had to be when Ellie discovered that there was chocolate in some of the eggs! Her face lit up and she ripped that first wrapper off faster than I've ever seen her move. We finished the day with a ham dinner with Cody's parents and ate a lot more chocolate and sugar than we will ever need in a lifetime.

I love that Kate looks a lot like Cody, especially that she has his eyes. These girls have such a special bond with Cody. They get so excited when he comes home and cries whenever he leaves. He takes time to let them each know individually that their father loves them and shows them constantly that he will always be there for them. A mother couldn't ask for any better for her girls.

For about two and a half weeks straight one or both girls were sick. We were going a little stir crazy and may have seemed a little crazy with cabin fever. That just meant we had to get creative. There were a lot of baths to make miss Kate happy and when Ellie was sick we watched every single episode of Jake and the Never land Pirates at least twice.

I'm so glad that they are both feeling better now so that we can go outside and go do things again! We hadn't been to story time in a few weeks and we were excited to go this past week. After story time we headed to the park with some friends. It was needed by all parties involved. 

A funny story about Ellie... I had given both girls their own bowl of cheerios to eat as a snack in the living room. Ellie, being ingenious, decided that eating with her feet would be a good idea. She would stick a piece between her big toe, bring her foot up to her mouth, and eat if from right in between her toes. So gross but so funny at the same time.

Yesterday we stripped the cushions off the couch to vacuum unterneath them. Ellie somehow fell off head first and started laughing, saying that she did a big flip. She did it a few more times, but quickly learned to put her hands down first and then roll off. When Cody got home from work last night I asked her to show him how she did a big flip. Somehow she forgot. She put a pillow on the floor and pretty much face planted/belly flopped right onto it. We couldn't help but laugh while she looked confused and then finally started laughing along with us.  

I know most people are so sick and tired of hearing about the song "Let it go" from Disney's movie frozen. I hate all the speculations about there being subliminal messages about the sexuality of Elsa. I think the reason I hate it so much is because for me the song has an entirely different meaning. 

I wont lie, its a song I get pumped up to when I run and I love it. To me its about literally letting go and taking a breath. Its about getting rid of things and stop holding onto things that are negatively affecting you in your life. In my life its about letting go of all the things I can't do or accomplish. Its about learning to let go when I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water to all the things that aren't important so I am able to refocus on what is. 

When I listen to this song I am reminded that I am not going to be perfect, ever. And that's perfectly alright. But what I can do is change my attitude to one that is more positive. In the song she talks about not letting her fears control her anymore and testing the limits. Its about letting go of the fear of trying that is holding me back from trying new things, from being a better friend, or wife or mother because they are unfamiliar. Let go of that fear and just do it. Try it, why not?!

Let go of the fear of not being good enough. Or just enough in general. I wont lie, sometimes I doubt my role as a mother and a wife and wonder how different things would be if I was a completely different person. I look at others and think that they are so much better than me, more spiritual, more in tune with their children's needs, their relationship with their husbands looks so much different than mine. But I am learning to let them go. Let go of the comparing and just try to do better today to be better than I was yesterday, not someone else. 

So here I am, and here I will stay. Because I am learning to let go to be a better me. The best me I can be.

And because I'm a sucker for all things piano... and this is probably the best cover I've heard.

Two of the hardest things as a parent is watching a sick kid be miserable and the other is having to clean up throw up. Just our luck we had both happen today. Now that I am in bed with everyone else asleep I can laugh about it, just don't ask what I was doing earlier. 

We headed to Twin this afternoon to make a "quick" Costco run. We should have known that those are impossible. Cody's quick stop at the store (the main store he works for in twin) ended up being me and the girls playing in the pick up for over an hour while I patiently waited for Cody to return so I could use the restroom (that place is a maze).

I usually make up some excuse to swing by target but decided this would be a purely Costco trip and I was very proud of myself. As we were headed that way Ellie kept complaining about her stomach hurting. I should have caught on to the hints of refusing any and all food and only requesting milk as meaning this was a day she was going to throw up. So she's complaining about her stomach hurting and blah blah blah. I turn to ask Cody is he has cash for us to grab a slice of pizza for her to eat while we shop and that's when I heard it. It was bad. All over her and her beloved blanket and puddle beneath her. We made a stop at target to grab new clothes and get her cleaned up. Ellie didn't mind because Cody picked up clothes off the clearance rack and the shirt happened to be hello kitty. 

I forgot to mention that she is going through a naked phase. Since we got home she has been taking off her pjs so she can wear the hello kitty shirt which was in the wash with her blanket. 

And miss Kate has had a fever today. Boo! But that hasn't stopped her too much, just and extra nap and snuggles. She is officially moble and nothing in the house is safe anymore. 

To add to the mess of the throw up all over the car seat, clothes, and blanket... Just as my luck would have it the washer decided to start leaking. But I'm pretty sure that was user error, it's not a good idea to walk around the house and find more things to shove in the washer. It's better to just make another pile for another load. 

Thank heavens today is over. And for an amazing husband who helps clean up throw up and doesn't complain when he returns home at 8:30 from a job and has to immediately fix a washer instead of eating his first meal of the day.