With what would have been our due date approaching I feel like my emotions have been all over the place. 

Throwback to the twelve week bump with the twins. (Who am I kidding? I've just replaced that bump with food haha!) 

It's been tough to be completely honest. At first we didn't even want to start thinking about another baby. And when we did in my mind I just assumed that by Christmas we'd be expecting again, it was three months later after all. Well Christmas came and went. A few friends are expecting, one even identical twins. And I was a little jealous and disappointed that my body wasn't getting its act together. 

A few weeks ago I went for a run. Gosh I love running and how it helps me put all my thoughts in order and gives me perspective. I had the song "come come ye saints" stuck in my head. Well not the entire song, just a phrase. 

"Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard. Tis not so. All is well." 

It was a very humbling experience. Here is a song about a group of people with all these unimaginable hardships and I'm over here being upset that I am not getting my way right when I want it. 

I'm a goal oriented person, I like to be able to have a goal and work towards it. And have a timeline of how things will work out. Before we got pregnant this last time we knew we needed a bigger vehicle, that my small car wouldn't be able to fit three car seats. Our goal was to purchase a car before we would have another kid. It's been different not knowing what the future holds for us. We're setting different kind of goals and it's exciting, just not where I imagined we would be this time of year. 

It's hard relinquishing control. Not being able to plan everything or have it go the way you envisioned. But I'm learning. I've definitely come to understand the saying "come what may and love it" a lot better. Making the best out of everyday and celebrating the small moments. Making sure that I don't miss this time with my girls because I'm longing for what could be in the future or what could have been.

Come what may and love it! 

Life after the holidays isn't anything too terribly exciting in our home. The winter means Cody is gone, a lot. But here's a glimpse into the everyday life of our January. 

Exciting news for me (Jayme). I actually won something! I never win anything! I won a free race entry for a race at the end of February, a 15k! A new distance I've never run before, good thing I've been running all winter. Also I convinced Cody into running a half marathon with me in June! We'll do a couple local races between now and then to help get him ready for it. I'm so excited he's enjoying running! 

I find that I don't mind some of the typical domestic wife hobbies. Last week we kept waking up between 5:30 & 6 am and I was able to accomplish so much. Unfortunately by 2 pm I was bored because I'd already accomplished everything I needed to. I may have requested too many books at the library and came up with a lot more handstiching projects that will last me a year. Oh and eating dessert while doing puzzles- I'm really good at that. 

Sometimes I am an awesome wife and rent movies that I know Cody would enjoy. This week it was Jurassic world. Not my cup of tea. I really hated Jurassic park and was not looking forward to this new one but I decided to put my irrational fears aside and do it for him. Now I know that there are really no living dinosaurs on the earth but they still freak me out! Cody thought it was hilarious how much I hid under my blanket. Oh the things I do to please people! 

As a mom I've learned a hard lesson to pick my battles. Clothes is one of those battles. They choose them. Everyday. Hashtag what does matching colors and patterns mean? 

Typical toddler meltdown. She's still super cute though. Probably only because afterwards she comes with alligator tears still on her cheeks to tell me she's all done crying and is happy now. 

Books. All day everyday! Those are my girls!! 

I've decided that maybe Aladdin isn't the best movie... I successfully made wheat bread for the first time the other day and turned my back for a moment. If you ever receive bread from us know that we usually cut off the parts they do this to! 

It doesn't matter how many books they already have on their beds, they have to have one more before they can go to sleep. 

We tagged along with Cody last week when he had to pick up equipment and I don't think the girls minded too much. Ellie is getting pretty good at taking selfies! 

Cody is an amazing snowboarder, and I'm awesome at making people laugh while I get off the lift. First time landed on my knees, another I did the splits. The last is the best though, I almost didn't make it! I was trying to get my board straight, Cody was already half way down and I'm still on the lift. I jump, do a nice little roll and a kid standing nearby yells "safe" with a nice big arm wave. 🏂

#1 reason why I love this man today: 

I asked him if he wanted to help me with a puzzle, he refused. The reason? I do them too fast. He compared me doing a puzzle to trying to keep fingers out of a meat grinder. 

Best. Analogy. Ever! (I promise I'm not a shark snapping at fingers!) 

Today started out very optimistic. I had a nice long to do list to get things ready to celebrate Cody's birthday tonight (instead of tomorrow due to prior engagements that we had no control over and we are responsible adults). I was going to clean the entire house, put up streamers, make a cake, pizza and breadsticks for dinner. The whole nine yards. 

Well staying up until one am just to finish a puzzle may not have been the best idea. 

It sure was a pretty one though! 

So back to the to do list for birthday stuff: the cake. Cody requested his normal pumpkin ice cream (it is even better than a pumpkin pie blizzard from DQ!) and an angel food cake. The thing about me is that I really like food and sweets but I also am bad at following directions. More importantly reading all of them before I start and angel food cake is a pretty complex. At least Cody was very optimistic about my cake making skills and said if the cake didn't turn out at least the batter tastes good. Do not eat the batter! It is disgusting and bitter tasting. And very foamy! Fingers crossed it turns out, it currently in the oven. 

Coolest way ever to cool a cake!!! 

As for the rest of the list, like cleaning the house, it's on hold. Actually it's on the I really don't care right now because I'm tired and want a nap but I've got a cake baking so at least I'm doing something - list. 

We don't go all out for birthdays, usually just a small present. This year codys surprise gift got spoiled by my sweet little Ellie. She asked Cody if we could watch the Aladdin movie that was going to be his birthday present... Four days before his birthday. The funny part is that he and Ellie have a planned Christmas gift for me that I have been trying to pry out of her for a good week now with zero progress. At least she can keep some secrets... 

Like I said- we are really exciting. Blueberry bagels for birthday breakfast, classy! 

Saturday we braved the cold and took family pictures down by the river. Kate did not want to cooperate, Ellie only listened because I had a bag of scooby snacks in my pocket as a bribe. At one point our photographer told the girls to tickle me and I got my neck clawed worse than a cats scratching post. 

Ellenor has a framed picture of Cody holding her for the very first time at the hospital on her nightstand. I told her we were going to have pictures taken and for the few days leading up to them she kept talking about the new picture of her and her dad that she was going to have for her room. She kept asking Kate if she wanted a picture of her and dad in her room. Needless to say we are all very excited to see them! It's hard sometimes to remember to take pictures often. It's easy to push them off until you lose five pounds or until you have another kid but I'm excited to have our family documented with my girls at the stages they are in. 

After we put the girls to bed on Saturday Cody and I sat and watched a movie while eating the girls's halloween candy. He casually threw a milk duds box in my direction and it nailed me square in the forehead. Thinking that it was hilarious, he did it again! And guess where it hit me? Yup, the corner of the dumb box hit me right in between my eyes again. Don't worry, I got him back yesterday and pegged him right on his forehead. 

The month of November has me constantly attempting to make a list of everything I am grateful for. I keep getting interrupted... Today on my run I started making another mental list but this time it was what I was thankful for instead of focusing on freezing my sweet little buns off. 

(If you don't run without music very often, or at all, your mind does wonderful things. It goes a mile a minute, brings clarity, and you learn that if anyone could read your thoughts while running they would think you are certifiably crazy!) 

Here is the mental list of thank yous I compiled:
*Thank you walmart. I will definitely get my $11 worth of use from this pink windbreaker from all three times I run in this cold weather. 

*Thank you south Idaho weather. In between fall and winter and winter and spring you have your own two seasons, they are called wind. And you make sure it doesn't go unnoticed. 

*Thank you day light savings, I never thought it would be possible to consider going to bed without dinner. Almost...

*Thank you day light savings again, for allowing me to trick my kids into thinking that its normal to get your pajamas on by six pm because it is dark outside.  

*Thank you jacket for having thumb holes. Why doesn't every jacket have this feature?!

Thank you shadow for always being my running buddy. You never let me down!

*Thank you first home we lived in for four months after we got married. You taught me that any basement is not nearly as creepy as you were. I can at least walk past our basement door without having to sprint past it. 

*Thank you dear friend who is amazing with makeup! You taught me your ways today, which I will never be able to do as well all by myself. I'm almost sad that I ran today because now I have to take a shower and will have to wash my makeup off tonight. 

*Thank you nike running app for bringing out my competitive side. And my sister for sending me taunting texts that get me out the door. I'M WINNING SUCKER!!!!! (Its rarely happens, she's pretty amazing)

*Thank you running for making me have a large appetite. And Cody for starting to make dinner before I get home tonight.

*Thank you to my cooking frenzied self last week for making a lot of freezer meals for the nights that I don't want to cook.

*Thank you Cody for not allowing us to eat lasagna for an entire week because I am not in the mood to actually make dinner this week.  

*Thank you to the morons who cruise and throw their trash in the empty canal. It keeps me entertained to see how dumb people can be, seriously an entire pile of cans- food cans. It allows me to create wild scenarios about why in the world you do what you do. 

*Thank you canal for keeping me always looking for new things. Now that there is no water I'm always on the lookout for decaying corpses. Creepy I know. But a few years ago there was a dog that had been there for a while, the next year (after it was filled with water and then emptied again) it had moved a lot farther down. Last year there was a dead skunk, I am still keeping an eye out for it. 

*Thank you warm headband for keeping my ears warm. And for squeezing the crud out of my ears, they naturally stick out at the top and hurt after a while. I must have elf blood in my genes. Gosh, I wish I had hair like Legolas.

*Speaking of hair- Thank you hair for being so great, we've had a fun run the last year and a half but you are not growing fast enough for me. So your getting chopped tomorrow. Super excited. Or as Ellie says, "Super duper duper duper doopity duper excited!"

One last note- attempting to run and take a none blurry photo is extremely, extremely difficult. Props to anyone who can do it!

Ever since I mentioned that Ellenor gets to pick out a costume to dress up for Halloween she said she wanted to be a puppy dog. I got stuff to make a costume but I wasn't too thrilled about it. Kate said she wanted to be cinderella and we somehow managed to talk Ellie into being a princess. 

She was Merida from the Disney movie Brave. Its ironic because every time we have rented it from the library she says its too scary and asks to watch something else. 

We attended a fun Halloween party with friends where the girls decorated cookies, made spider hats, and a lot of other fun Halloween games. 

For Cody and I, I bought cowboy hats from Walmart. Turns out they were children size and definitely did not fit. Whoops! 

On Halloween we stopped by Cody's parents house to trick or treat before we headed to the church for dinner and games. Kate liked the prizes and candy so much from the games that she didn't want to play anymore. They learned how fun candy walks can be and loved running in circles even though they couldn't hear the music. 

Ellie had her first primary program yesterday. It was awesome. Before she went up she whispered a mean and loud whisper that she wasn't going (had me and the lady in front of us in stitches!). Not even a minute later she had a little boy in her class by the hand dragging him up to the stage. 

I asked her where she got to sit.  whoever decided to put 3 & 4 year olds behind a table filled with drawers and the top covered with trays must not have a 3 year old. Ellie excitedly told me that there was a lot of drawers and thing for her to play with and open up there. 

Kate kept yelling "where's ellie?!" When she'd find her, she would excitedly scream "there's Ellie! Hi Ellie!!!" 

Ellie waved at us but best of all was her face she made. In the middle of a song standing at the front she put her fingers on both sides of her mouth and pulled them outwards and stuck out her tongue. 

On the way home from joy school Ellie informed me that for her birthday she wants a vine. I asked what she would do with one she told my slyly "you know mom." After telling her I did not know she said, "well to swing from of course!" 

I made rolls yesterday and her response after taking a bite "these are actually good." Shows how my bread usually turns out! 

You know you live near a few dairys when... Every time something smells different, mostly bad, Kate says it smells like cow poop. Yesterday it was chicken in the crock pot that smelled like cow poop, big cow poop. It's usually followed by the cutest little giggle. Sometimes by a "No MoM!!! It smells Cow poop!!!" Sassy two year old yells are pretty cute!