I absolutely love being a mom, I really do. But there are definitely days where it is a lot harder than others. And today is one of those days. I honestly want to cry and make Cody take me out for ice cream when he gets home (because we all know that ice cream fixes everything!) and maybe a car ride will put her to sleep.

Ellenor got sick again today. Threw up three times! At least on Saturday when it happened Cody was home to help and it was at night. It's been a constant battle just to keep her content and happy even. Just now I was playing a game with her and she was getting so frustrated. It's an elephant that blows plastic balls out of its nose but you have to put them in the ear. She just wanted to put them in the nose as the air was pushing against them and would get mad when it would turn off and the ball would fall inside. A full blown fit.

I love this kid I really do but I feel so helpless. She won't eat or drink anything and refuses to take naps. It's 3:45 and we have already watched two full Disney movies. Why don't they make handbooks with in depth instructions of what to do as a parent to at least feel adequate?! I just hate feeling worthless and that nothing I can do will help her feel better. A sick kid is so far the worst thing we have had to deal with as parents and I'm grateful for that.

To put a lighter note on the subject... I am honestly amazed at how many times this kid has been able to fill her pants with how little she has in her stomach. And I am pretty sure she is going to be a naked sick kid, threw a fit when I tried putting anything but a onsie on.

A few random thoughts count as an update right?! Because that's all your getting.

1. Last night Cody was giving Ellie a bath as I was cleaning up the dishes from dinner. We found toy boats in the dollar section at target and got super excited because let's face it, bath toys just aren't a priority and they are expensive. She is definitely her fathers child and mimics any sound he makes, last night it was definitely the sound of a motor boat. Constant motor boating for at least 20 minutes straight.

2. Lets be honest here, this break has made me even more lazy than usual. That's normal right? I've started working out again and it's kicking my trash. So much so that some days I justify not showering or anything because I've technically already changed once that day, from pjs to sweats/comfy yoga pants. And on said lazy days where a shower may or may not be involved Ellie will hang out in "comfy" pants along side me.

3. Sometimes our "white trash" garlic bread and poor mans spaghetti is the perfect meal. Nothin fancy at all. And costs maybe $5 total? Maybe.

4. Over the last two weeks we have consumed more bananas and oranges than one family really ought to. It's almost embarrassing to admit how many we actually eat in a day and by we I mean Ellenor and I.

5. I think I missed this flu bug, fingers are still crossed though. Sunday we came home from church early because Ellie threw up in my hand, yes I caught it. It was disgusting but thank heavens it was all washed off in the bathroom. She had a nasty fever that would not break no matter what we did. Monday was the same, fevering all day and just plain miserable. We watched a lot of Disney and she cuddled quite a bit with daddy to. New Year's Eve (Monday) we were asleep by 9:30 because we were exhausted. Cody got it on Wednesday night and so far I have been just fine. And hoping it stays that way.

6. I know I complain about the summers being too hot but I am done with this negative degree weather. All the heaters in the house are cranked up as high as possible but we are still layered up and hiding under blankets. Not to mention I think we are all going a little stir crazy.

7. I hate Lonesome Dove. Cody got it for Christmas and we watched the entire first season within a few days. We couldn't get to the store fast enough to get the second. They didn't use the same actor in the second one! Almost every character was different! It took a little bit for me get into it and when I did I fell in love but now I'm just disgusted with the producers. And yes, I get worked up about stupid movies. Just wait until next week when the third season if Downton Abbey starts, there might be choice words if its not as good as the first two seasons. But I'm sure it will be.

How do you forget to take pictures on Christmas? I mean seriously, I take pictures of everything! I did manage to snap a few with my phone but of course they are all of miss Ellenor.

We started off the holiday on Friday by heading up to Boise to ride a holiday train with Cody's entire family. It was so fun to get all if his siblings an their families together. Watching the cousins all play and dance on a train was the highlight of the train ride. One of the servers knew how to make balloon shapes, there were a lot of swords and puppies. They served a turkey dinner and it was all decorated for Christmas. The next day we all exchanged gifts and read favorite Christmas stories and headed to explore the capital building.

Monday felt like a Saturday with reorganizing Ellie's closet and cleaning up the laundry/utility room. For Christmas Eve we invited Cody's parents over and made fondue. They had never had it before and it was fun to share one of my favorite family traditions with them. We watched Elf and I have decided it is so much better watching it with people who have never seen it before, their faces were priceless and we all laughed a lot. We also invited them over for an amazing Christmas dinner of turkey and mashed potatoes. Another tradition is drinking sparkling cider and it was interesting to learn that they had only ever had martinellis once before!

I have trouble with baking, especially bread and cinnamon rolls. For Christmas Cody got me a bread maker! I was really surprised and so excited that I made some that day, although I wouldn't recommend mashing potatoes right next to it because it will make it fall. Next time it will turn out perfect though.

We got Ellie a giant teddy bear and she got a play kitchen from grandma and grandpa. The awful thing about being in a time zone that is two hours later is that we can't FaceTime in the morning, I didn't think they wanted a call at 4:30 their time just to see her reaction. Kids stockings are much more fun to put together than adult ones. Her favorite thing was an electric toothbrush. She carries it around for half the day!

The day after Christmas we headed down to Utah for a short trip and by short I mean we left Wednesday morning and got back this morning (Friday). It was fun to get to see my sisters family, grandparents, and my aunts family visiting from Arizona.

My favorite part about this Christmas hasn't been about the presents, even though they are very much enjoyed and appreciated. My favorite part has been hearing from family. I miss my family and sometimes have a really hard time being so far away from everyone but I am so thankful to be able to communicate and keep in touch regularly. We got a Christmas card from my grandparents in Alaska that mentioned missing seeing us this Christmas and I bust into tears. We got a fun package from my mom that included books that we used to read at this time of the year. I think a lot has to do with the fact that my dad is retiring and my mom is starting to go through the house getting rid of things to move and won't be in Alaska anymore. I called her and told her I got her package and we both started crying on the phone, I swear there is something in our genes. Christmas just isn't the same without the whole family and maybe it won't ever really feel like a complete Christmas for a few years.

Last week Cody was in California all week for training. This week he had another training in Boise and miss Ellie and I decided to tag along so we could at least see him at night. We have been having a blast playing with cousins and hanging out.

Last night we decided to take Ellie to the aquarium and were pleasantly surprised at how much she really enjoyed it! She would laugh and talk to the fish as she was pointing at them. She would laugh and turn to look at us making sure we just saw whatever it was she was excited about. She puts her hands over her mouth when he laughs and it is the cutest thing I have ever seen. Her favorite was probably the sea turtle, it would show off and swim right in front of us and of course she just squealed!

There was quite a few little tanks to be able to feel the different star fish and squishy tentacled sea creatures. One was in what looked like a boat. Cody called me over to come look at something. As I reach him he puts his arm around me and starts to pull me in close, at the same time I notice movement right next to me on the edge of the boat less than two feet away from me. Not sure exactly what it was I jump and freak out. It was a live iguana and I had seen t earlier thinking it was fake. Cody was laughing so hard, Ellie started crying and I was just glad I hadn't peed my pants and my heart rate was starting to slow down. Needless to say we had a blast and watching Ellie get so excited made it all worth it!

I've seen a lot of Christmas wish lists lately and because I have been having a difficult time putting one together for myself I thought I would write a different kind of wish list. A wish list for Ellie.

To Ellenor,
-I wish that you can look back at pictures of this first year with us and can see how much your dad and I love you.
- If you only learn one thing from me I wish that would be that you know you are a daughter of a God that loves you so very much.
- I wish in 15 years that you can still look in the mirror and smile as big as you do now.
-I wish that we can always have open communication and that you will always feel welcome to rest your head on my shoulder as easily as you do now.
- I wish you never lose your spunky personality. You are constantly laughing and smiling and I hope that you can continue to always be happy.
- I wish that you will continue to enjoy our nights alone without dad home. A picnic in the living room, beauty and the beast, and snuggling was exactly what I needed the other night and it was perfect. I hope nights with mom will be something you look forward to.
- I wish that you never stop being excited to see your dad come home. He is the best dad any girl could have and he loves you more than you could ever imagine.
- I wish you never stop being excited about the Christmas tree and the holidays. It is an amazing time of the year.
- I wish that you will continue to like vegetables because they are good for you and I won't force you to eat Brussels sprouts if you still like broccoli in a few years.
- I wish you will never stop being curious. You love to explore new things and always have to know what's going on, it will be annoying but you will learn so much.
- I wish that you will always love to read. I didn't learn to live it until many years after I should have and I missed out in so many great books and lessons.
- I wish that you will continue to be friendly to strangers and smile at those in need. You always brighten someone's day when you acknowledge them, especially the ones I don't notice.
- I wish that you will still let me dress you in what I think is cute for at least a few more years.
- I wish you will keep your love of babies and other kids. Watching you hold and cuddle your teddy bear or baby doll make me excited to see how you will love a little brother or sister someday.
- I wish you will still remind me that spending time with is the most important. The dishes and laundry can always wait and you help remind me of what is of most importance to me.
I love you Ellenor and I am so excited to continue to watch you grow and learn. I hope you never doubt how much we love you.

This kiddo turned one a week and a half ago. I'm still in denial that it has been a full year already. She is so funny and is constantly making us laugh. Today for example, my friend Kayla came over for lunch (Cody and I bought stuff for fondue on Saturday and didn't make it and now he's in California and I needed help eating it) and she helped Ellie with her fake laugh, she thinks she is pretty funny. Ellie hasn't stopped doing it yet.

Her actual birthday wasn't anything too special, just errands and normal Saturday stuff like watching a movie on the coach with dad. Sunday we had a small family birthday. We got her a doll and little stroller (because she loves to push things around) and a wooden puzzle. They were both perfect and I'm glad we didn't buy a lot of presents. She is great at pulling all the puzzle pieces out and has actually started to be able to put them completely in the hole where they go. She likes her doll and will cuddle it and pat its head, that motherly instinct starts young I guess. We didn't do anything grand with a cake either, just picked one up from the store (it was a crazy busy weekend with no time for baking) and gave her a piece. She laughed and pointed to her cousins if they were being silly at the table. It was just perfect for her. I think she would have been overwhelmed by much else and it was just right. She will only get a few small gifts for Christmas and I am already thinking that 3 might be too many.

I'm so glad that Ellenor is who she is. She is independent and can sit and read by herself but also loves to play with me. She loves to explore and is quite intelligent. Especially if it involves finding where we hid the remotes. She loves people and does really well with strangers and friends. She loves other kids and especially loves to watch babies. She is the perfect daughter for our family and we are so excited to watch her grow and learn new things over the next year.

I may be partial to this time of year because of the opportunity to celebrate some of my favorite people's birthdays. But it really is my favorite time of year. To make it absolutely perfect we need a few feet of snow on the ground and the northern lights and we'd be set.

This past weekend we set up our Christmas tree and decorations. I love how simple they all are and the memories that they bring. We bought our tree two years ago when we were poor and living in Rexburg. I was so disappointed about not being able to have a Christmas tree and it had me down for a few days. I think it was a Christmas bonus from work that was unexpected and Cody let me but a decent size tree and pick out matching ornaments. I always loved plain trees with silver and red because of what the colors represent and it helps focus on what the tree is really a reminder of. And a giant red bow just looks amazing at the top of the tree!

Growing up my mom had soooo many nativities! One year we counted over 150 and not all the boxes were even out of the garage!!! I love that each one has a different story and they are from all over the world! I still think the one from Mexico with pins sticking out of their heads is a little odd... As each of us get married we get to choose one of her nativities to display in our homes. I chose the olive wood from the Middle East and I love it! I love that it is all wood but also that they don't have faces because it allows you to imagine the expression of joy that would have been on their faces as they greeted the Christ child for the very first time. The nativity on the top shelf is one that Cody made when he was in scouts as a wee little lad!

We took Ellenor to the festival of trees and to my surprise were greeted with a Santa! He was so nice and Ellie really didn't mind at all. I like Santas that are nice and old and actually are happy to be there. We have such a friendly daughter and she is always so nice to everyone... Well so far at least.

The holidays are already so much more fun this year now that we can involve Ellie more and more. It is a little obnoxious to keep a constant eye out for the trees safety but I can't help but love that she gets so excited to see it all lit up first thing in the morning. I am excited to be able to teach her about the Christ spirit that fills this time of year and about service. Nothing makes the season more meaningful than serving others and I am so grateful to be able to repay kindness in even the smallest of ways.