Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Today was an interesting day. It seemed like every time I was out of eye sight Ellie was screaming. Every time she bonked her head or got stuck she screamed. I swear she screamed at everything and wanted me to be constantly holding her. I was getting frustrated with everyone else when they would do something to her, like start teasing her because she was being extra sensitive. And I was getting upset that she was being so sensitive. Even when we took her to the park to play with her cousins she wouldn't walk and just wanted to be held. She was really starting to make me mad because she wasn't being herself.

And then she threw up and I felt like the worst mom in the world. I should have been able to read the signs better. I thought she was wanting to be held at the park because she fell and hit her knees. I thought she was being cuddly because she had taken odd naps. We got back to the house, gave her a bath, and cried. Ever have those moments? The "I have failed as a mom today and the only thing I can do is cry" moment.

This girl is absolutely sweet. And today I felt awful that she was stuck with a mom like me. I'm glad tomorrow is a new day , hopefully with a good nights rest tonight, we get to start over. Hopefully she will be feeling better but I get to focus more of my attention on being a better parent and listening instead of assuming so I don't have a repeat of today.

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2 comments:

  1. The GarlandsMarch 6, 2013 at 11:03 AM

    WE had one of those days not to long ago. Kenneth also wasn't acting himself. He had been having a bad case of diarreha but for the most part that didn't slow him down. When he stopped eating normal it was odd. The next morning he preceeded to have another blow outs and then throw up at breakfast. :( I felt bad not knowing that was what was wrong with him.
    You're a great mom, Ellie still loves and will continue to. :)

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  2. The Dennett'sMarch 6, 2013 at 3:17 PM

    don't feel bad, Jamie! We've all done it. I still do it. We don't mean to- but it just happens :) at least you still held her and loved on her even though you may not have wanted her to sit on your lap all day...she has no idea that you wanted personal space :) you are a GREAT momma! and I loved your last post about the lessons you learned from Ellie. they hold so much truth!!

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