A few random thoughts for this Tuesday morning…

-Sunday night I cried myself to sleep. I had just emptied my stomach but I wasn’t crying because I felt awful but because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to take care of my baby. Yesterday was so hard not being able to just hold her and play with her. Cody was amazing and took care of her all day while I sat around and did nothing but feel terrible. Oh and read a ton of blogs. He also willingly put Beauty and the Beast and Tangled on for me and Ellie to watch.

- My mother in law is amazing! Sunday morning Cody called his mom to ask if she had anything that would help him. By the time I got there at 7AM to pick up the 7 UP and medicine she already had her keys in her hands ready to swing it by. She also watched Ellenor yesterday morning for a few hours so that we could both sleep a little more and not have to worry about her. Gwen also called periodically the last couple days to just check on us and make sure we were O.K. We sure do love her!!!

- Next time we go out of town, well anytime we go, I am bringing my own running shoes. Just in case. Saturday morning my sister and I decided to go for a run and lo and behold, I didn’t bring my shoes. Wearing Cody’s with two pairs of socks only worked for the first 1 ½ miles. I can say with confidence that I never want to become a clown; the shoes would just kill me.

- This season of the Bachelorette with Emily is interesting so far. There are a few guys I like but most just seem like duds and are just weird!!!
-Saturday morning… the kids woke up and couldn’t decide on a movie. When I got out of the shower they were watching Care Bears and Wyatt said it was because they needed a movie that Ellie would like. They are already the best cousins!

- I am going to attempt to make a six layered cake. But not just any cake, a RAINBOW cake. That’s right, all layers will be a different color and to top it off there will be skittles in a rainbow shape. I’m just hoping that it will turn out.

- I am FINALLY getting a hair cut today!!! Hooray! It has been way. Too. Long!

- Our garden is starting to really sprout! BUT… last night Cody informed me that he might have sprayed my spinach (which he hates!) with roundup(weed killer). Good thing it grows fast so if we need to replant it we can!

-Miss Ellie has been loving food and is eating half a jar each time we give her some. She also thinks it is hilarious to put her hand in her mouth right after I shovel food in.

- Not being sick is probably THE best thing in the world!
- I am freaking out. Girls camp is in 3 WEEKS! It will be interesting to be a leader... But that doesn't mean that I still can't help with pranks.

We have driven over 15 hours in the last four days and Ellenor has done great! Thank heavens! Cody had work stuff in Roosevelt, Utah (literally the middle of no where) and we decided to join him. My evil master plan intent on accompanying him was to also visit family and it worked! We spent Friday night with my sister Jen and her family. The movie We Bought a Zoo is an amazing movie but it is also amazing at jerking tears right out of you, I was just glad there was someone else on the other couch who had leaky eyes as well. The best part if staying there besides homemade chicken noodle soup, amazing homemade strawberry jam, and great company was Wyatt asking "is your baby's name really ElleBor?" My amazing sister and her family Jessica also happened to get there earlier than planned, they drove all the way through the night... 16 hours! We were glad to see them, even though it was for just a few hours yesterday morning. As we were all in the kitchen/dining room at grandma and grandpas Jess's 5 year old Ethan tell us the funniest thing. He said he watched the scariest movie and when we asked him what it was he said "Once Upon a Time," the tv show. The reaction was perfect! We were laughing so hard as Jessica was trying to defend herself by saying things like "it was just on, I didn't think they were actually watching it!" You gotta love kids! When we got home yesterday I was informed that Cody's sister and her family was in town so of course we had to swing by! It's always good to see them! And any family for that matter, we kind of like them. Besides family not much is new. Cody and I finally signed up for a gym and we are so excited to use to! Ellenor finally slept last night and it was amazing! She has been teething for the last while and her tooth finally broke though 2 weeks ago but she only stopped sleeping well this week. I only had to get up twice to give her back her pacifier instead of every half an hour. I will never take sleep for granted again. About the same time I was getting up for the baby so was Cody but only to answer to the nastiest flu bug I have ever seen. Between his flu and Elli and my cold last week we should be good for 5 years, at the minimum. On a lighter note I officially got a 4.0 this semester! Go me! Yes, I even did a little happy dance when I saw that, it was prettier than a rainbow! This feels like such a random post... But we really aren't that exciting, just counting down to fun things and trying to stay busy in the meantime.

Last night was the perfect evening. It wasn't anything spectacular but it was one to remember. We ran to a friends to bring dinner and admire their new little guy and came home to have our own little picnic out on the front lawn. We sat outside for an hour. Just  enjoying the company and the beautifully calm weather (which is rare that Burley wasn't windy last night!). We have made a pact, well Cody just agreed, that we will be enjoying more meals, good conversation, and company outside in our yard this summer. 

Here's to more calm dinners and evenings not in front of the television or on the phone for work. Just enjoying the peaceful sounds of birds singing in the trees (until Cody starts for his gun) and playing with our cute baby girl and tickling toes in the grass.

She has got skills! Can drink a bottle and grab her toes at the same time! Silly girl!

There are dishes covering the counters, laundry sitting on the couch calling to be folded and also in the washer that needs to be switched, the floors are covered in crumbs that need vacuumed, and there is a bathroom that is in need of some serious TLC.

But I also have a sweet baby asleep on my bed, dinner in the oven, and a loving husband eager to get home from work to see his family.

Early today I was feeling guilty for not being productive due to still not feeling top notch. But listening to music that fills my home with the spirit makes a world of difference in my attitude. My house doesn't have to be spick and span to be a home. I don't have to finish project after project or bake seven course meals to be a good mother or wife.

So what, I didn't clean much today, I didn't bake anything grand or spectacular. But I did spend time with my sweet girl and took time to enjoy it. She finally laughed for me today and that was good enough for me. She laughed for me, her mom. Not for dad or anyone else around and that is enough to make today a great day. An amazing day.

Yesterday was mother's day and nothing at all like I had anticipated. I had a presidency meeting planned before church, I was supposed to teach, and then have Cody's parents over for dinner. It was going to be a nice relaxing Sunday but instead it was a different kind of "relaxing."

Saturday night I got a really bad cough and sore throat, thinking that it wouldn't be too bad and it would just go away I didn't take any medicine and just went to bed. When I woke up yesterday my entire head was throbbing, not only a massive headache but my eyes and cheeks hurt, even my ears were killing me. Cody went to church and miss Ellenor and I both went back to sleep. He came home early to take care of me and made dinner. Cody even watched old chick flicks with me, well he fell asleep but he was still in the same room!

I know that on Mother's day you are supposed to focus on mothers but yesterday I couldn't help but be drawn to thinking of how blessed I am to have such an amazing husband. I found this video this morning and I wont lie, I bawled. Full on streams of tears.

A father blesses his daughter he shows love to her mother. Even if Ellenor was blind, she would have still been able to know of Cody's love for me, especially yesterday. And for that  I am so blessed. I often feel so inadequate as a mother of a beautiful child but then I look at Cody who is so amazing with our daughter and know that at least she will turn out alright because of him.

This past week has been just a wee bit crazy and I am SO very happy that it is over. I don't like to write when I am stressed or overwhelmed because I feel like I would only be complaining. Instead I like to look back at this past week and laugh at all the little things that I thought were such a big deal and especially the little things, the little straw that broke this camel's back. One of those things being Ellenor not wanting to nap but play instead when I was the one who really just needed a nap!

But its all over and all is well. I finished school this week and am so excited to have gotten all A's, two of which were 99%! Ok I am done bragging about me. Onto the baby! Ellenor is learning to sit up and is doing amazing, she is also loving to stand and flipping through books. That is until she smashes her fingers between the pages and wont let go with the other hand to release them. But she is learning. That farm book she is reading is very appropriate for our home, the tractor in it is RED, not green. (Cody works for a Massey Ferguson company, AKA John Deere's biggest rival). She is also loving to grab everything in site, especially food.

We are going down to Utah for memorial day weekend and I absolutely cannot wait!!! My amazing sister Jessica (who also blogs and has adorable children http://iowainspired.blogspot.com/ OK, OK we like Eric to not just his wife and kids) will be in Utah at the same time! I was talking to Jess this morning and while on the phone Ethan says, Jayme and Cody that we will see in Utah?! I haven't seen her kids in way too long and we get to meet little Hailey who is just a few weeks older than miss Ellie.

While we are there we are also going to have family pictures taken. I am really and I mean REALLY picky about who takes our pictures. The photographers around here and ridiculously over priced for what they are offering and it is too posed and old. I finally found the perfect photographer for us. Check out her stuff here (http://www.jenheremphotography.com)  and you will see what I mean!

This little girl definitely knows who her daddy is and she absolutely loves, LOVES, loves him! Last week he was in Boise for work until 5 in the morning one night and just out late and up early a few other days. One on of those late nights she woke up after I had already put her to bed but she just needed her daddy time. Last night I swaddled her up to put her in bed and Cody asked if he could just rock her and snuggle with her. There is no sweeter site than watching your husband look at your child with so much love. 

If you came to my house right now you would have thought that Cody and Ellenor had a really rough morning. They are both out cold! But in reality, they had an easy morning of playing in the car together while they supported me.

If I haven't mentioned one of my goals for this year is to run a race every month in 2012. Today was that lucky day in May. Well Ellenor decided that playing sounded a lot more fun than sleeping last night and didn't want to stay asleep. When we finally rolled out of bed this morning we listened to the wind outside. Being completely exhausted and going for a run in 40 degree weather with 20 mph winds did not sound very appetizing and I was honestly tempted to just get my shirt and leave.

I am so, SO glad that I didn't. Cody was nice enough to come and hangout with me for a few minutes before the race during registration but returned to the car with Ellie before it even started. Waiting alone is THE worst thing ever. Everyone else knows someone and here you are standing by yourself just waiting. And waiting. I had the opportunity to experience that on St. Patrick's day and never again will I allow that, even if I am running alone.

At the starting line you are supposed to line up according to how fast you are going to run. The fastest in the front and the slowest in the back. Three ladies got right in front of me just as the race was about to start and they just happened to be walkers. It took me a little bit to be able to maneuver around them but once I got going I passed quite a few people and was feeling good.

The first mile for me is the best, I have the most energy and am really "in the zone." The wind was blowing against us for the first mile and thank heavens it was. I doubt if I would have ran the entire thing if I had the wind against me the entire second half.

The first mile was paved and then it turned onto a gravel road. But it wasn't gravel as much as it was sand! The half way point was a good sized hill, it wasn't very long but it sure was steep. I watched as everyone in front of me walked once they hit the hill and knew immediately that I was going to run it. I even passed a few people ON THE HILL!!! By this point we had switched directions and was headed back toward where we started with the wind pushing from behind. I was jamming out to my ipod the entire time and even started dancing a little bit around 2 1/2 miles, that is usually the point where I feel like I am about to die.

Anyways, I finished the race strong and was able to sprint to the finish line. My finishing time was 32 minutes 38 seconds. I ran the entire thing and was so proud of myself. I am not running to make me look like an athlete or to show people that I can run. I am running because of the way it makes me feel. And I love feeling so good.

I used to hate having pictures taken of me. I used to try to hide behind people or only have pictures of my face, I would even crop pictures because I was so embarrassed. But I don't feel that way anymore. I am obviously still self conscious but not nearly as much as I used to be. I actually want pictures of me now, especially with my family. And not just pictures of my face. For once in my life I feel proud of myself and am proud of what I have done and am doing because I am proving to myself that I can do difficult things.