The Searle's Stories

Being home alone is not what it is cut out to be. Movies and entertainment portray a night home alone as a time to be completely relaxed, paint your toe nails, and do whatever you want! Sadly, that isn’t reality. Being home alone is actually very, very lonely. If I know Cody is going to be gone for the night it just sets something off inside of me. I don’t want to do anything but wallow in self pity and eat junk food. Or clean, which is VERY rare!

Tonight I was invited to a girls night and was looking forward to having an excuse to get out for the night. Of course because it was planned Ellenor decided that she did not want to cooperate and needed a lot of sleep. I figured that since I already needed to run into town to return a redbox that I might as well grab another one… or two… and invite my long lost friends over, Ben and Jerry. More specifically half baked. DELICIOUS! Cody doesn’t let me get it so it was a nice little treat. Not to mention the strawberries, grapes, and bananas I got as well. I was feeling guilty over all that chocolate so I couldn't not invite them!

So what do you do when you are home alone with a grumpy baby who is rioting eating and sleeping? Make it a party with good food with an invitation for only one.

I was feeling down about not being able to go tonight and texted my friend Kayla to let her know I wouldn’t be going. I think part of my problem is I look forward to things so much, especially when it is something outside of the house and it isn’t cooking, cleaning, or doing homework. On her way over to the party she brought me chocolate chip cookies!!! It is amazing what great timing people can have. Just as I was feeling like I didn’t have any friends in the area and feeling even more alone, there she was. It wasn’t any big, grand gesture but just that simple act of kindness, of taking the time to make a quick little stop made the biggest difference in the world. I need to act on those little promptings to help others more often; you can make a great difference without knowing the impact that you have.

Last weekend we were at Target, I was headed to the dressing room when I came across a man in his mid thirties on one of the motorized carts. He had a cast on his leg that extended to just below the knee and his cart was not working. He had a distressed look on his face and kept pushing the buttons trying to make it work. But I just walked right passed him. I turned right after I passed him about to offer to help him but another man beat me to it. Right as the other man offered to help him the cart started up and he declined the offer but thanked him. I should have taken that opportunity instead of being so involved in what I was doing. I am so selfish it’s disgusting. I am watching We Bought a Zoo and I absolutely love it. All it honestly takes is 20 seconds of courage to change the course of a life. Here's to more 20 second opportunities!

 

On a lighter note, also known as miss Ellenor, she is getting to be more fun every single day. She reminds me to just take time and enjoy things. She loves to be outside. I wait to go check the mail because just the whole two minutes it takes to walk to the mail box and back makes the biggest difference to her. She loves to look at everything and is fascinated by new people and new sounds. She tries so hard to crawl and to do things that she just can’t quite do. She gets to frustrated because she is almost there and will rock back and forth.

 

 

She is my reminder to start every day fresh. Just because the day before may not have been the best, there will always be a new morning waiting. The morning is when she is at her prime. We will often lie in bed while Cody is getting ready and just look at each other. Sometimes I cry and sometimes she does to but most of the time she just smiles at me and you would think that nothing else could make her any more happy than just being in that moment with you. It is those simple moments, looking at her, that I know that there is nothing else I would rather be doing than taking care of this sweet spirit and learning so much from her. She is my greatest teacher.