Some things make me feel like an adult (most of the time I still see myself as a kid/teenager, basically someone who doesn't have responsibility...). Pausing and reminding myself that I have two daughters is one of those things. Buying a house a few months ago did it to. But this weekend we did something else that made me definitely feel like an adult. We bought a puppy! This isn't one of those "Yes mom, I'll take care of it (and under your breathe you say for the first few days). 

His name is Tony and he is a boarder collie. He is an OUTSIDE dog, something I never thought I would have. Cody made him a house to stay all warm and cozy in except he prefers to sleep in the flower bed, a habit that we will definitely be working on to kick. Ellie absolutely adores him and constantly asks to go outside to play with him. She gets excited when she knocks that he will stand up and just watch her through the window. 

And a few pictures of Kate because she is the happiest, most smiling baby ever. And she has started giggling and laughing and it's the best thing ever. Ever. 

Ellie is a special girl. One of the things that we laugh at most is her throwing up. She does it every once in a while and every time it leaves us with a story that we can later laugh at.

We've taken her to the doctor for it but as far as we know there is nothing wrong. It has nothing to do with what she eats or any activities so it is completely unexpected. At the time it is not funny at all but afterwards we laugh a great deal. 

In the house we were renting there was only tile in the bathroom and everywhere else in the house was carpeted, yes the kitchen and dining room were lovely carpet. We had put Ellie to bed one night but she stood at the edge of her crib crying. Cody went to check on her and from my spot on the couch I just saw him jump back. She had just barely missed him but managed to get it all over the carpet. 

Another time she was sitting on the counter after dinner. She started to throw up on herself so Cody decided to move her over the sink. Well in this particular older house the cupboards didn't close all the way and she managed to make every single one of them her target!

A week and a half ago again she didn't want to go to sleep and was crying in our room. We were trying to calm her down and Cody picked her up to have her lie on his chest. As soon as his back hit the bed, she let it out. It somehow barely missed his face but landed all over his shoulder and the bed. That was one reason he decided to shave his beard. 

And that brings us to tonight. If you are still reading this, I am impressed. Its probably not very funny to others but just recalling Cody's face of shock and horror as she makes the beginning sounds is priceless! 

After dinner I took Kate into the living room to feed her while Cody and Ellenor were still in the kitchen. She started crying and Cody kept trying to get her to tell him what was wrong. There was a short pause before I heard it. The gurgling that rumbles through the throat before the big explosion. It sounded like he had dumped a gallon of water on the floor. And then he started calling for help. It was bad. And all over the kitchen floor. 

I am so grateful for Cody. I cannot handle the smell! Give me a dirty diaper and I can manage but he cannot. Its a good trade off. He had to use a dust pan to clean it up while I happily gave her a bath.

I have a two year old. The only way I make it through the day is knowing that my knight in shining armor will come and rescue me at the end of the day (rescue in our house means play with her in another room so I can breathe). Most days we do just fine and we get along great. Except lately.

I am struggling so much right now with raising this girl. She is so much fun and we can laugh and have the best time but in an instant she can be throwing the biggest fit. Hitting and screaming at the top of her lungs. At least she doesn’t know how to say hateful things yet!

Today was not a good day in the parenting book. I yelled, walked out of the room as she was crying out for mom, ignored her pleas and whines, cried in front of her while asking her to just stop. It was quite the scene. More like a horror film that lasted all. Day. Long. Then I put the girls to bed and breathed a great big sigh of relief. Not even two minutes later I am missing them and secretly hoping at least one of them will wake up to keep me company. For me to hold them and tell them that I am sorry for not being a great mother and promise them that I will do better tomorrow. Thank heavens for tomorrows and being able to fix what we did wrong today. Tomorrow is a new start. Tomorrow will come and she won’t remember how ugly I was today, at least I hope not. She won’t hold it against me and will wake up in the morning happy to climb in my bed and play.

Tomorrow will be a better day. I will be more patient. I will play more and remember to laugh more instead of getting upset at the small things. Tomorrow I will kiss her more and hug her more. Tell her I love her more and show her how great life really is with her around. Play more, explore more, discover more, be more. Raising a two year old is rough stuff. 

Is there any magic cures/potions for moms to become better overnight?!

There has been a lot lately that has got me thinking about my marriage and the man I married. I came across a blog a few weeks ago about a lady who recounts her husbands passing, he was having an affair with a married woman and was shot by her husband. What a terrible and sad situation. I have actually enjoyed reading her blog because she talks about having faith and hope through the whole thing. But my heart sinks every time she talks about the weeks leading up to the tragic event because I wont lie, losing my husband to someone else is one of my biggest fears. The biggest being losing him in general. 

It has got us both talking quite a bit about our relationship and where we are in life and in our marriage. I know (at least I am pretty dang sure) I would be able to tell if something were wrong between us or if something was going on. We have very open communication and I love that. I love that Cody is a nice guy but knows where to draw the line with other women and co-workers. On his trip to Denver last week a married guy he works with did something silly but said that he wouldn't tell his wife. That if she didn't know everything was ok and had the attitude that it wouldn't affect his marriage. I believe that any secrets or lies create a wedge in any relationship. (If its a secret about a present or something along those lines that is completely different.) 

Just having conversations with Cody helps to reassure me what a good man he is and that he really does love me. When he leaves on these business trips, its not just a vacation for him to get away from the family but that he really does miss us. 

He is so good to put up with all our crazy ideas. A few weeks ago he got home early from work and I made him go out to play. We had a family date to the library and grabbed some ice cream cones on the way home. Ellie loved looking through books with her dad and showing him the toys that she likes to play with there. 

We put the kids to bed on Thursday when he got home and not even a half an hour later Ellie snuck out of her room with her blanket. Cody welcomed her with open arms and they slept on the couch for half the night. He is such an amazing father and husband, I honestly don't know what I did to deserve him. I have been so blessed to have Cody in my life and look forward to all the adventures that lie ahead.

Ellie is so ready for Kate to be big enough to play with. She loves to dance and all day yesterday just wanted her little sister to do it to. I would hold Kate standing up and Ellie would take her hands and swing them from side to side. And kept trying to pull her away from me to dance with just her.

Ellenor is definitely my child and that scares me. A lot. I struggle so much with her because our personalities are so similar, especially when it comes to discipline. I am sure part of it is just the age but she is so sassy and opinionated. She has to do everything herself and if she doesn't want something, you can't force it on her (unless its her coat and then we do).

Ellie wont take a nap or go to bed without Katelyn. If I suggest that we do anything, from a bath to making cookies to getting dressed, the first thing out of her mouth is Kate to. After Kate takes a nap Ellie runs into their room screaming "KATES AWAKE!" She climbs up on the railing and says "HI KATE!" all while Kate is giving her the biggest smile. I love the bond that these two already have and I cant wait to watch it grow more!

This past week we took a mini vacation to Boise. I know it doesn't sound very exciting but it was absolutely perfect. 

We drove up Tuesday after Cody got off work, grabbed a quick dinner and then headed back to the hotel to snuggle and watch a movie. We woke up the next morning and had an amazing breakfast. The continental breakfast included a chef making fresh eggs however you wanted and they tasted perfect everytime. I want to hire a chef to make me an omlet every morning, that would be so nice! 

The hotel had a pool and a separate one foot kiddie pool. We hung out in the pool for a bit, did some shopping, grabbed lunch and then came back to take naps. Instead of paying to go see animals at the zoo or aquarium we hit up cabelas! And pet smart to look at dogs because we really like dogs, just not at our house. Yet... 

We planned our mini vacation around nap times and food. One night we ate at red lobster, lets just say that Ellie wasn't on her best of quietest behavior. There was a couple sitting next to us in a suit and his wife was all dolled up in a nice dress and her we are with two noisy kids and Ellie crawling all around under that table. As we were leaving Ellie refuse to put her coat on so I carried her outside without it on. There were quite a few people waiting to be seated and Cody caught a few of the comments I got as I walked out. One lady called Ellie spoiled because she didn't want to put on her coat. Another mentioned that she needed a coat because she was going to freeze. It's funny how no matter what you do or how hard you try people are going to judg how you parent and criticize what your doing. 

We played with Cody's sister and her family and even went swimming with them. Ellie absolutely loves her cousin Chloe and copied everything she did. If Chloe would laugh, Ellie would choke out the most fake laugh and smile right at her. 

I love that Cody knows me so well. He knows just what I need and I love it. On Thursday when he picked up the pizza he also grabbed something else for after te kids went to bed, Ben and Jerry's ice cream! It was a great way to end the week. 

It was the perfect, most relaxing vacation. We spent a lot of time playing, laying with our feet in front of the fire place and just taking time to be with each other. With Cody being gone for almost the next month it was just what we needed. 

These girls leave me absolutely speechless. They play so well together at times and be so darn cute together and then they can be fighting. Yes fighting already. At 2 years and 6 months. I am doomed! 

Ellie acts as if she likes katelyn so I think it's safe to say she likes having a sister. Everytime it's time to take a nap or go to bed she asks "Kate to?!" Anytime she does something she wants Kate to come help and be involved as well. It's time to do Ellie's hair, Kate's hair too. Time for a bath? "Kate to!" I hope that never ever changes. I hope Ellie always remembers her sister and wants to involve her and gets excited to do so. 

Kate is at a fun age. She is rolling and playing on her stomach quite a bit and reachig for toys. Ellie loves to bring her toys to play with and is mastering the idea if trading when I give Kate a toy Ellie has to have right then. Maybe it's mean but I'm excited for Kate to hold her own when it comes to toys she wants and Ellie's shananagins.  

"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you we probably an only child."